Friday, March 18, 2016

Piece of me

       It is morning,about 8 a.m.,waiting for the market to open,yawnnn,lordy lordy ,got up at 6 to take wife to work ,which is good but too early for me ,hehehe.Have not posted for a couple ,as I like to do it in private when no one else is around.Really,want to do this but having to push myself,guess i am better at this late at night when my mind is running.
       O.k.,lets start with simple,lift some of this haze,and see what happens,I can do this,actually I am now smiling, with thoughts beginning to come forward, on what will appear here out of the recesses of my sparklin highways of thoughts,and the emotional yet toned down influences of the last couple of days.I have learned one thing,when trying to depict an emotional state of being it is best,to do so while its impact,is fresh.Duhhhhh,appears quite logical,but procasteration,is one of my faults.Hold on have to make a phone call,hehe.
      I am back,the phone call was to one of my suppliers to see if he had franchise rights to a product I use. Another supply company who has generated business for me,asked what kind of chemical I used to clean a floor,and being a little cautious, about handing out my secrets was hesitant to tell them,thinking he will tell someone else.I learned it is a product that he can not order but has bootlegged in the past for someone else,bad boy.At any rate I have decided on what to do and am glad i took the time to research it.
     Oh and just so you know I can not type for a darn and go back to make it more readible for anyone else.Market opens in sec.,so will be right back,hehe.Been kinda rough, for me here lately,account is down 25%,about 500.00,not much to some but a lot to me, and its been crazy cause,i am too heavily invested in one with 25% of my funds in one stock that goes up a little then comes down so i am stuck,more on the down though.Then i had another that shot up for a 100% return and sold it only to watch it go up for a 10 bagger,lordy,these penny stocks are hell, but i am laughing.Oh,well it is what it is and for better or worse, i do have fun with it.
    What else has been going on? Hmmmm,night before,this is one that will tickle my memories in the future.Haha,did I habdle the situation right or wrong,I am sure i will wonder about this one quite a bit.Darn stocks keep falling,hehe.To get back to the subject now,for the first time since i have been going out,i asked someone if they would dance with me,momentous occasion,hehe,at any rate she said she would,in the future,and i was elated,hell I was shocked,so anyway,i asked D.J.Beachhouse to find something very sensual to play for the following night,went home checked event calendar at Spinaker club to discover a band i really like was playing the same night as she was.they do this song by Barry White very well and i decided to wait for them to get there and ask if they would play it so I could dance with her to the song.Now,this was ,two nights ago,went to see Natalie Stovall play night before last,and told d,j,Beachouse,not ot bother playing the music.In trying to get his attention the other night I told his wife it was the first time I asked a woman to dance with me which surprised her.I told her all the other woman I danced with had always come up to me after Isaid no to going on the dance floor due to me being married.I explained that it looked like my marriage was heading south and therefore i ahd always constrained myself from asking anyone until I asked Natalie,so when I told Beachouse not too bother with nusic,she gave me a hug,feeling bad for me. Now, i did not go out last night,though I had intended to go to La Vela,and just got caught up on some sleep.Damn,i am sexy,hehe. Just went to take a leak forgot my glasses,went to pick them up,and looked in the mirror quickly and was pleasantly surprised,by my reflection.Actually,it dont happen that often and no I am not that egotistical,but we all have moments and I guess i just had one,hehe.I, do have the other days also.ughhhhhh,hehe.Back to subject,I swear i cant stop smiling,have i no sense,just checked market and stocks are still down,while i am sitting here with a grin on my face,LORDY.Tonight,i will probably go to La Vela and Spinnaker Beach club,just to chill and get my groove on.Grand Theft Audio or GTA,as they are known is playing tonightand there is aband playing at La Vela, I have not heard yet. There is only one bad thing I have noticed about Natalie Stovall and the Drive,once they play,no matter what band is playing next, I can not dance, or rather I have lost the desire to dance,I have no idea, if it is due,well actually i do know,what the hell,she is so good and i am so enraptured,that anything afterwards is BLAHHhhhhhhhh,hehe.So,I have to stand around,bored,wait for the dj to play some and then I get back in the groove,by the next set I am back to dancing,at a lower key of intensity,but still enjoying myself.Anticipation is making me think,is driving me crazy and no matter what,it will be ok.I can not wait for Sunday,hehe,asking for the dance,you know a thousand things could go wrong,hell,everything might,but just the thought that there is a slim chance it may go my way,is making me so damn high,and you know,it is kinda strange.Can we talk,O.K.,lets put it out there,the ,sorry,but i just have to say this is nuch more then i expected to type,write whatever,then when i started,it is like I have been possessed by some typig demon,hehe.O.K.,we back again,haha.So,I have always felt like there was a connection between her and I,usually she will look at me while she plays,but the other night I felt as if she was rtying not to show me any attention.Now,i will be the first to state,I have that ability to see things that are not there, but, I am mainly writing this to try to bring myself down to earth,cause i be flying high,hehe.Reality check.Soaring like this,slipping into quiet,yet exciting, I cant describe it,sitting here so quietly happy,trying so hard to put myself in check,exuberance of a multitude of emotions bursting like sunsflares in space,and my laughter inside,while i try to act normal. calm myself down,knowing for better or worse this is,she is a piece of me,and that I am so endebted to her for the knowledge that i am still capable of these whirlwind feelings,that show I am still alive,with no desire to stop their erratic course through my being,for I feel ALIVE.The price,that knowledge, that all could be for naught,not that i ask for anything,or even worse maybe to discover that i am just another person with no special thoughts in her mind,that,that really is or would be O.K.,I dont know,know her,anymore then she knows me,,the gift I have obtained,the splender,is in experiencing this musical dance,highlighted with so many different colors,explosions of emotion where musical notes sre formed by small explosions of color,across the unfolding blank page of my life,as each moment gets written,I can see the beauty as it becomes a part of who I am. I thank her for who she is,for the gift she gave,even if unwittingly,for becoming a piece of me.
         After all this,anything else i write will seem kinda dull,i know the word i want to use,but cant think of it,hehe.Sub climatic,or something like that.While i am sitting here typing this<i checked the market and it is worse,but you know what,that is only money,so many have an excess of it,I have little,but truly I believe I am happier,then they are.Which does not mean I dont worry about paying the bills it simply means money is not rated that high in my list.So I guess I probably end up worrying more then those who have their act together,hehe.
        Today I get to go to a bday party for two of my grandkids,that was humorous.First i used have instead of get,changed that because actually they are a gift in my heart and it is actually a joy to watch them grow,and then next using the word grandkids,well it just sounds more ancient then I feel,hehe.And you thought this was easy,haha,naw I am having fun.
       Went to act like a responsible person yesterday,actually this is kinda funny.I had to go to the repair shop to pick up a part no.for Donnas car,that they could not find anywhere but ebay,which meant we had to order it. I am running around trying to find the part at carstores and junyards,while trying to quelll my anxiety about what was going on with the stock market as I usually sit there and watch it like a hawk. I also realize i have to start doing more promotion for work and stop paying so much attention to the market,as it does not pay the bills.So,instead of coming home I,being the man I am,hehe,wentand talked to a few people about getting some work and lo and behold, picked up 1200,00 worth,Which of course made me happy,untill i thought about the fact i should be doing this all the time.Oh well, I am getting better,I hope,hehe.
        Think I am gonna call it quits here,oh oh,gotta brag a sec.hehe.Cleaned the a/c unit the other night,2 or 3 yrs, no filter and it was caked,could not find a filter that would dtay in,at any rate it sparkles,took like two to three hours but it is like new. A friend of mine gave me some professional cleaner,that stuff burns,and I used all my phones battery power,as i forgt to turn off flashlight,hehe,but it runs great,and I found a filter that works. In my defense,when they put in the unit they put it in 180 degrees out so you could not get filter in.Than told a friend about it and he made some suggestions which worked.So everyone is happy, except me,i do not like cold,as skinny as I am,I love the heat.That is it,life is good. It is now 11am,told you I cant type,but still smiling,and my spellcheck does not work either,hehe.        
  

No comments:

Post a Comment