not a creature is stirring not even a mouse, well the cat is eating i just let her in.Woops, Scotty just came out and he is eating again.Two minutes ago i thought i was all alone,everyone sleeping, just finished watching Pitch Perfect, AWESOME, and figured i would throw up a quick post, while i was all alone, now it seems like all came out to check on me. hehehehehe, life is like that sometimes, moments where it seems i fight the battle all alone and then from no where, a voice,maybe a beautiful smile i have missed for too long, or words of encouragement come along. Life is what it is and i, have temporarily ran out of a thing too say. Ok, i am back,hehehe, what a strange, strange Christmas, disappointing, anger, joy, love, the gauntlet i have experienced, as i have heard others say, it was the worst of times, it was the best of times, it was Christmas time
Gifts, ohhhhh, i know Christmas is not about gifts, well for me it is, I love giving them, receiving is great but giving makes me feel like a real Santa, The wonder, surprise, quirky smiles,how did you know, that look in their eyes when they come aglow, the you shouldnt have, with the underlying, but i am glad you did, that feeling i get when I hit the mark. Not this year, it has been sad, maybe selfish because i wanted to give to get those things i just talked about, but what the hell ,no money,maybe no work and it all worked out.I had nothing to give, but the gift of self, and for some that seemed enough, i had to overcome an inner battle, that some where aware of, and instead of leaving , i stayed, for though i can not say evil thoughts were not in my mind, for everyone else, and for myself , I put those feelings aside, played with the little ones, talked with the grown ups and actually had a good time. I wont lie, when gifts were passed out, i was embarrassed none were from me, anger at my myself, yeah it was there, but what can i honestly say. Do I really believe i will change, stop being who i am, I may, Just may be financially a little smarter, or cautious i guess, but the dreamer in me, well i cant lose who i am. The price to others, may not have seemed great, but inside i know me and it bothered me that no gifts was i able to give. Money management 101, here i come, I sure hope so anyway. I laugh at myself thinking,my silly thoughts, you know till Saturday after all the fed ex deliveries were done, the dreamer in me kept saying that the Lewis family, knowing i had no money for Christmas would reach out and do some thing. I tried like hell to get some kind of work to no avail, and phone calls to Mark in operations never got returned.I have no one to blame but myself, and even if it was only a dream, well just the possibility made the time easier to deal with, so even when reality ended up crashing at my door,the previous hope I had softened the blow. Now I just have to get my breath, blow it out slow, and back into the fight I go, a little bit wiser,more subjective, and loving the thought of a brighter day.
At Christenes we talked a lot about this and different things, apologizing for my inabilty to do anything, Christmases past they said more then made up for today and though that was nice, there is still a hole i have to fill some way.Children playing, feelings of family were there, but inside, through it all, i felt alone, insufficient, like all were judging me. Now i know thats not true, but i hate coming last,empty handed, it scares to think, i could end up in my past. A perplexing study of humanity, i must seem,all saying it is ok, except that voice in me. I guess i am set in my ways ,dreamer, schemer, a throwback to early days where the head of house, hell he dose not make mistakes, in public anyways. I screw things up and ,though i always say , no shame in my game, when i screw up, its out there, for I have no volume control either,hehehe. I have never been shy about what i believe, never been shy about standing up for those beliefs, not that I am always right, i have learned from many,but, I stand tall until i am proven wrong, then humbly accept i dont know all, am thankful to learn, and try to be open minded enough to learn more. So maybe, this Christmas was supposed to be a lesson in humility which I say without any candor or pity, at any rate ,the gifts i received where, those , of acceptance, caring, love a the knowledge ,maybe the reminder, it is not about what,but who in the truest meaning of Christmas. Or at least something like that, i am sure i know what i mean,Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night, love ya, me
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Friday, December 21, 2012
the week before Christmas
Hello, hello, hello.Just wanted to say hi,and all that, it has been a weird week or rather strange time since my last post.All kinds of different revelations,thoughts bouncing around my mind, arcs of thought unfiltered, zapping me ,bringing awareness of knowledge, new and old, lessons that i should have learned and the optimistic ego of self refusing to get lost in what is a difficult time,not, earthshattering, but feelings of displacement,loss of center and a sense of futility at my own self, who refuses to learn from lessons past,due to his personal beliefs,in a world of reality where self is absorbed by the world of business,facts,figures,and other cold ,ughhhh, factors of the real world.Alas, alas, where is room for the dreamer in us all, i cry with bittersweet laughter,reflecting,mocking accepting, that it is not there is no room for the dreamer, but even a dreams roots must have its base begin in reality. My blame is that i just cant seem to separate the two, their intwining showing my(sadly) refusal to recognize lifes serious side. So, what is going on? Well, no word from Express Lane, the new one, anyway. They had requested the new liability insurance ,yet no response from follow through ,ignoring queries from my insurance agent, and what should i think here, or the fact that Mark Shoeffer has ignored my call or message at the front desk. I, dont know what to think quite honestly, either too much going on or,possibly my dismissal from this new world of Express Lane.As the wife just said , i cant win, unless i am allowed to (hehehehe),but damned if i dont keep trying, (hehehehe).Here i am broke as hell, for real no money, Christmas, shot to hell, no plastic to pretend with,i do have cigs ,maybe about 60 or 80 bucks,gas,quarter of a tank, and i am smiling at it all. Which seems stupid to me, it would be more (I think) realistic to be upset butwhat good is that really gonna do.My bills are paid till next month so thats a plus,with the exception of my storage shed, i do have food, and who knows maybe tomorrow i will hit megamoney,hehehehe. Dream on, ughhhhhh, I am so silly sometimes.Now, where should we go from here,lets back up the week,sounds like a plan to me.
Hmmmmm, where to start, ok, Sunday the wife i had a little tiff over doing the Express Lane stores.I had been told not to do any more floors, and wanted to do all the stores one last time with the propane, like an inspection buff, for no charge which would have cost me around 60 bucks, but felt that it would be a nice going away gift for the Lewis family, Donna ,being more realistic, stated that the stores may have already become the new owners,which could get me in trouble with them,that we really could not afford it and last that my un busineess like manner had already got us in enough hot water. Which i have to admit is true,though not always, and dreamers have rights too,so there, but not when others have to pay the price along with them.She won, and me i felt guilty all week, over not doing it,mainly because it is not all about the money, it was just something to show my appreciation for all they had done for me.Moving on,and on and on, and on,ok, enough,hehehehe, to Monday.
Monday, Monday, what a wonderful day,(just being me again), went to do the two Dodges Chickens, in Pensacola and Ft.Walton, leaving early, so i could come home and post on my blog. I know, no post, well let me explain.Got to Pensacola, did the store being grateful for the work, for real, here. Left,heading out through 98 coastal, enjoying the Christmas decorations ,lights glittering,blinking,reflections bouncing off the side view mirror, colors ranging from bright white,to the merry green,happy red, and rainbow kaleidoscope colors in between. Christmas decorations, Santas, elves,whimsical creatures, entwined with spiritual noels, nativity sets,all set to give joy to my world!!!! BANG, to my ears came an eary, scary soft blast and hiss, with intimidation by sound,i pull off the road and listen to to the sound, opening the door i realize its as i feared ,my tire gasping ,spent has laid itself in rest. Woe is me, I think, then I realize there may be no spare, but 3 cans of fix a flat are on hand. You go boy,feeling so proud, hooked up my first can,perplexed as it empties its canned air within, Lo no results begin. Move the van a hair,second can hooked up and an etheral cloud of mist gently forms on the side of the tire, that was not funny,(hehehe). Ok,but it is now,hehehe. Damn tire blew out the side,drove it till tire was completely gone, pulled into a Tom Thumb, i know hilarious,huh. Life does laugh at us sometimes, all those times i refuse to pull into a Tom Thumb ,now this, i just hope someone got a giggle and a laugh out of it,honestly, i did. Scotty was on his way,as i had called a towing service and they had quoted me 200 bucks which i did not have. The funny thing was i had done the floors here before and the lady remembered me,the quality of our work and asked why i was not doing floors anymore as they pay more and get less quality now. THat made me feel good though. Scotty shows up and yes, i did take the tire off,scared van would come down on me again as it had last time i changed a tire,but no problems this time, with the exception of the miserable,and I do mean miserable cold weather,brrrrrr. Get home about 4 am, oh yeah, cant forget, there was no money at home,here i am broke down in Valparasio, and hardly any gas in truck. Well, i call up a store ask them if they will front me the gas, till i get back in town, you know, they did, i promised to be back before shift change so they would not be short. It is one of those times where i am so grateful that others are good to me. So thank you, thank you,thank you. Tuesday i go to Randys Tires R Us on 15tyh st and ask if he would trust me for a new tire,now he knows i have no work,as far as Express Lane and he was still kind enough to trust me till i get some work. See it does pay to keep your word with people,as he had helped me out about a month ago on some repairs and let me make payments. Sooooo,where we at now, ok ,Tuesday, i go to Ft. Walton Dodges Chicken to do the floor. I had told them it needs a light scrub,well, i ended up spending like 4 or 5 hours there,no extra charge and honestly, it was not just working, but also thinking,realizing how dependent I was on others,and how grateful I am for their belief in me. It could have gone an entirely different way, to me it just went to prove that people, even without knowledge,remind us of the beauty in being alive, interaction with our fellow humans,and that the spirit of Christmas does not occur just on Christmas day. I had made a 100 the night before and that was eaten up by the time i left Ft. Walton Dodges Chicken, what with gas and all, but still, I did make some money, enough to buy some smokes,gas, and spoil the wife with a couple of scratch cards,i know,stupid,wasteful,but what the hell, it was worth it.
Wednesday, have you read enough,heheheeh. Cause there is more,hehehe. I get an e mail from Lehigh , the new owners of Express Lane, requesting liability ins. paperwork, which I forward to Hutt ins.,who gets no response from them on questions she has in relationship to requirements on policy. In addition, i had been told there was to be a meeting with Mark,operations manager, who never calls me.The good news here, my workmans comp exemp has been approved ,which i needed for some possible work in the future. See, trying to show my positive attitude, hehehe. Possibility, probabilities, anything is possible, I cant believe it,sitting here, typing this out and making jokes with Scotty, i do believe my world is collapsing around me and I,in my infinite, wordly wise ,wisdom, surrounded with the bright ghosts of Christmases past,encompassed within the bleak oblivion of bare walls,no tree, and alas, the non appearance of gaily wrapped Christmas boxes, I am still happy with life.Guilty, yes, i had it within my capabilities to have planned for an event like this, realistically, i did not,my bad, twenty years we have been a family and this is a first. The bitter realization of my failure,well, it sucks, but it is not gonna change a damn thing, so maybe,just maybe, i will try harder in the future to ensure it does not occur, but I make no promises. Lordy, Lordy, I noticed I started hitting the keyboard a little bit too fiercely, underlying guilt, who knows,i mean to do better next time, however if wishes were horses, we all would ride, hehehehehe.I do have some possible work pending in January, unfortunately, while it is great and I am grateful, that is all after the holidays. So on to Thursday.
Thursday, not bad, not bad, in hope of work next month, i asked my suppliers if they could extend me some credit. honestly, it being the end of the year,they want to settle any accounts by Jan.2, after explaining my situation and just flat out being honest they both agreed to front me some supplies, the understanding being i was to pay asap. To some who have credit cards,bank accounts,etc,this may seem n.p., but i have none of the above, simply my word and when people show good faith in you,what the hell else can you wish for.All the money in the world will not buy you that and when others believe in you, well to me that means a lot. Friday,Friday,yeah Thursday was a quickie,hehehe, but still quality.
Friday,i went out, picked up supplies, thanked all and went to see if i could start on a job early,so i do not have to wait till late Jan. to get paid. Then ,Donna, Scotty and I went to Christines, for a breakfast dinner,hehehe. Actually it was all right and seeing every one,the way they love their grandma, Donna, made it all worth while. Ohhhhhh, lest i forget,Michele is offically Donnas favorite child,hehehehe. That is another story, of a child who does all to earn her mothers ok,not realizing she had it anyway. Reminds me of my Father and I, a story with a happy ending, through love, and understanding. I also was able to finish paying Christene for money we had borrowed,so you know what? It was not an easy week,and yes there are a lot of things i wish were better but,look at all the beauty, the way others have been good to me and you know what,if my week had not been what it was,those selfless acts of kindness others showed ,well i would not have known, Merry Christmas to all,love ya,me. P.S.- yeah, i am smiling (with you).
Hmmmmm, where to start, ok, Sunday the wife i had a little tiff over doing the Express Lane stores.I had been told not to do any more floors, and wanted to do all the stores one last time with the propane, like an inspection buff, for no charge which would have cost me around 60 bucks, but felt that it would be a nice going away gift for the Lewis family, Donna ,being more realistic, stated that the stores may have already become the new owners,which could get me in trouble with them,that we really could not afford it and last that my un busineess like manner had already got us in enough hot water. Which i have to admit is true,though not always, and dreamers have rights too,so there, but not when others have to pay the price along with them.She won, and me i felt guilty all week, over not doing it,mainly because it is not all about the money, it was just something to show my appreciation for all they had done for me.Moving on,and on and on, and on,ok, enough,hehehehe, to Monday.
Monday, Monday, what a wonderful day,(just being me again), went to do the two Dodges Chickens, in Pensacola and Ft.Walton, leaving early, so i could come home and post on my blog. I know, no post, well let me explain.Got to Pensacola, did the store being grateful for the work, for real, here. Left,heading out through 98 coastal, enjoying the Christmas decorations ,lights glittering,blinking,reflections bouncing off the side view mirror, colors ranging from bright white,to the merry green,happy red, and rainbow kaleidoscope colors in between. Christmas decorations, Santas, elves,whimsical creatures, entwined with spiritual noels, nativity sets,all set to give joy to my world!!!! BANG, to my ears came an eary, scary soft blast and hiss, with intimidation by sound,i pull off the road and listen to to the sound, opening the door i realize its as i feared ,my tire gasping ,spent has laid itself in rest. Woe is me, I think, then I realize there may be no spare, but 3 cans of fix a flat are on hand. You go boy,feeling so proud, hooked up my first can,perplexed as it empties its canned air within, Lo no results begin. Move the van a hair,second can hooked up and an etheral cloud of mist gently forms on the side of the tire, that was not funny,(hehehe). Ok,but it is now,hehehe. Damn tire blew out the side,drove it till tire was completely gone, pulled into a Tom Thumb, i know hilarious,huh. Life does laugh at us sometimes, all those times i refuse to pull into a Tom Thumb ,now this, i just hope someone got a giggle and a laugh out of it,honestly, i did. Scotty was on his way,as i had called a towing service and they had quoted me 200 bucks which i did not have. The funny thing was i had done the floors here before and the lady remembered me,the quality of our work and asked why i was not doing floors anymore as they pay more and get less quality now. THat made me feel good though. Scotty shows up and yes, i did take the tire off,scared van would come down on me again as it had last time i changed a tire,but no problems this time, with the exception of the miserable,and I do mean miserable cold weather,brrrrrr. Get home about 4 am, oh yeah, cant forget, there was no money at home,here i am broke down in Valparasio, and hardly any gas in truck. Well, i call up a store ask them if they will front me the gas, till i get back in town, you know, they did, i promised to be back before shift change so they would not be short. It is one of those times where i am so grateful that others are good to me. So thank you, thank you,thank you. Tuesday i go to Randys Tires R Us on 15tyh st and ask if he would trust me for a new tire,now he knows i have no work,as far as Express Lane and he was still kind enough to trust me till i get some work. See it does pay to keep your word with people,as he had helped me out about a month ago on some repairs and let me make payments. Sooooo,where we at now, ok ,Tuesday, i go to Ft. Walton Dodges Chicken to do the floor. I had told them it needs a light scrub,well, i ended up spending like 4 or 5 hours there,no extra charge and honestly, it was not just working, but also thinking,realizing how dependent I was on others,and how grateful I am for their belief in me. It could have gone an entirely different way, to me it just went to prove that people, even without knowledge,remind us of the beauty in being alive, interaction with our fellow humans,and that the spirit of Christmas does not occur just on Christmas day. I had made a 100 the night before and that was eaten up by the time i left Ft. Walton Dodges Chicken, what with gas and all, but still, I did make some money, enough to buy some smokes,gas, and spoil the wife with a couple of scratch cards,i know,stupid,wasteful,but what the hell, it was worth it.
Wednesday, have you read enough,heheheeh. Cause there is more,hehehe. I get an e mail from Lehigh , the new owners of Express Lane, requesting liability ins. paperwork, which I forward to Hutt ins.,who gets no response from them on questions she has in relationship to requirements on policy. In addition, i had been told there was to be a meeting with Mark,operations manager, who never calls me.The good news here, my workmans comp exemp has been approved ,which i needed for some possible work in the future. See, trying to show my positive attitude, hehehe. Possibility, probabilities, anything is possible, I cant believe it,sitting here, typing this out and making jokes with Scotty, i do believe my world is collapsing around me and I,in my infinite, wordly wise ,wisdom, surrounded with the bright ghosts of Christmases past,encompassed within the bleak oblivion of bare walls,no tree, and alas, the non appearance of gaily wrapped Christmas boxes, I am still happy with life.Guilty, yes, i had it within my capabilities to have planned for an event like this, realistically, i did not,my bad, twenty years we have been a family and this is a first. The bitter realization of my failure,well, it sucks, but it is not gonna change a damn thing, so maybe,just maybe, i will try harder in the future to ensure it does not occur, but I make no promises. Lordy, Lordy, I noticed I started hitting the keyboard a little bit too fiercely, underlying guilt, who knows,i mean to do better next time, however if wishes were horses, we all would ride, hehehehehe.I do have some possible work pending in January, unfortunately, while it is great and I am grateful, that is all after the holidays. So on to Thursday.
Thursday, not bad, not bad, in hope of work next month, i asked my suppliers if they could extend me some credit. honestly, it being the end of the year,they want to settle any accounts by Jan.2, after explaining my situation and just flat out being honest they both agreed to front me some supplies, the understanding being i was to pay asap. To some who have credit cards,bank accounts,etc,this may seem n.p., but i have none of the above, simply my word and when people show good faith in you,what the hell else can you wish for.All the money in the world will not buy you that and when others believe in you, well to me that means a lot. Friday,Friday,yeah Thursday was a quickie,hehehe, but still quality.
Friday,i went out, picked up supplies, thanked all and went to see if i could start on a job early,so i do not have to wait till late Jan. to get paid. Then ,Donna, Scotty and I went to Christines, for a breakfast dinner,hehehe. Actually it was all right and seeing every one,the way they love their grandma, Donna, made it all worth while. Ohhhhhh, lest i forget,Michele is offically Donnas favorite child,hehehehe. That is another story, of a child who does all to earn her mothers ok,not realizing she had it anyway. Reminds me of my Father and I, a story with a happy ending, through love, and understanding. I also was able to finish paying Christene for money we had borrowed,so you know what? It was not an easy week,and yes there are a lot of things i wish were better but,look at all the beauty, the way others have been good to me and you know what,if my week had not been what it was,those selfless acts of kindness others showed ,well i would not have known, Merry Christmas to all,love ya,me. P.S.- yeah, i am smiling (with you).
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Express Lane the final day
How to start,two things,the emptiness ,sadness, i felt when doing the floor at Dodges, over the fact that i will not be doing the floors for Express Lane no more,and Reeds statement he could call me out on a lot of things ,with the exception of my love for the Express Lane family.
ohhhh, i can tell this is gonna be a long one, but i have already started and have been putting it off for awhile so might as well get it done.On Thursday,ihad talked to Holly who informed me Reed was upset about all the strips being done.Me, being me , thought that Reid felt i took advantage of the situation,as Mark told him he only authorized some strips.In order to clear my name i went to the office and waited a couple of hours for Reed to come out so i could explain it to him.He heard me out and then told me there was never any question about me, and that they,Express Lane never had any doubts about me.It made me feel a lot better, we said goodbye and i left to cash my final check.
I have always had a problem with speaking my mind, and at the same time not always being swift enough in thought to actually convey the thought properly.I say something then ten minutes later which i had said it better, or phrased it differently, or not said anything at all,hehehehe. Oh well, from these things life becomes what it is, we live with it, i guess.While Reed and i were our discussion at the end i brought up a subject that maybe i should not have ,it was all good till he made a simple question,"and you"..to which i really had no answer ,except to state that honestly ,even though i dream the dream, thought due to my being a vendor i would not be included.As i told him i am just a vendor and if there is one thing i have learned in the last couple of years that was my lesson.Oh,Oh here i go again, one thought leads to another,and, i want to start off on another tangent, but will wait to go into that, hopefully.New paragraph hehehe.
Myself,my dream was to build a company, similar to my old cleaning company,Suburban Contract Cleaning,here the owner built up a successful business, did well for himself and some of the employees bought it from him, when he was ready to get out.He had taken a small business, hired people,taught them how to become successful, and shared it with them in order for them to create their own legacy.Which has gone very well, i guess i failed in that aspect ,though i still have time to change it,but, i have definitely created opportunities for people others would not take a chance on and thus enrichened their lives, by giving them the chance to run with the ball.Very, very few disappointment's there, for which i thank them.Looking back,i realize that most people, when given encouragement, and shown trust will, do whats right, not all, but most. In the entire time ,i only had to fire 1 person,sometimes they deserved to be fired but if you think about the fact we are all human, make mistakes ourselves,be a little forgiving, most do not make the same mistake twice. Ok,back to the meat and potatoes, I sidetrack so well,hehehe.
In todays world,when a company sells out pr changes hands,there is often a big story if the owners sell back to the employees or reward them with a monetary bonus, usually the higher ups in a company have themselves covered with severance packages or such. However every once in awhile we hear stories of companies that also reward the everyday worker who has been with the company for an extended period of time, or contributed to the general welfare of the company.Here we go now,Express Lane has always been good to its employees,flat out, no b.s.,I remember commenting to Jim Lewis one time that if people did not screw up at work, they would always have a job. I meant this, because the Lewis family actually cares about the people that work for them and they work with the employees not ride over them,if you had a problem someone would listen, if they could help they would.This tradition was started by Mr. Jimmy Lewis and was carried on by his sons, who all had to work their way up, no gimmes here.One of the results of this of this well run operation,is you end up with employees who, quite frankly, dont which to go to work else where, and are content knowing they will finish out their days working for this same company.I know, in todays world it may seem unrealistic,with companies going this way, that way, and no safe havens anywhere,but it does happen, and used to a lot more. It is called COMPANY LOYALTY, the thing companies are always screaming for and forgot that you have to give to get.So on we go, the Lewis family has been in the convience business for awhile, they are all getting older,the economy is down, and then with the new tax rates coming into effect have decided to get out of the market and sell the company. I can not say as i blame them,at first no one could figure out what was going on, just that changes were being implemented that did not seem in character for the Lewis familys mode of operation in their stores. Employees,vendors, including myself, had no idea what was up and fears ran of the company going into bankruptcy to being sold, were running rampant, Some, no if or buts about it jumped ship, the rest stayed. through these turbulent times.I love people, and people in return trust me, some thinking i have a closer tie to the office then i do, confide in me hoping it will get to those above.Others talk to me due to the years we have worked together, at any rate I learn a lot.Employees feelings were varied over a number of things, ranging from concern over the Lewis family,to fear over what would happen to them now.Employees who had not been with the company for long,seemed to think it was just another thing,while the ones who had been with the company for a long period of time, or were older were on the edge or just plain out scared. Talking to an employee who had been with the company for years,who had tried to find employment elsewhere, he described the feeling of inadequacy he felt through all the rejections he had been submitted to.Which quite honestly made me think about my situation a lot, but more on that later.Fear, had infected the lifestream of Express Lane,where optimism used to be prevalent.Employees, who 2 months ago were simply trying to get more hours for Christmas,now worried that they would be out in the cold on Christmas day, jobless or working with less hours, where they were worried over having enough money to buy that extra gift,they were now in fear of being able to pay the electric bill to keep the heat on.One thing the Lewis family did that was thoughtful of them was to keep the paychecks on a weekly basis until after the holidays, another thing i heard employees being grateful for was the early Christmas party so they could get their bonuses. Life, the importance of that 100.00 bonus, the difference it makes in so many lives can scarcely be measured,but it is truly treasured, not only for the recognition it bestows,but in trying to catch up on a bill,helping out a family member, or buying that extra gift for the unexpected child or grandchild this year.When another company buys one out,especially a family run business, it is the ones who cared that worry, What will happen now, willl my loyalty to the previous owners be an asset or liability, who will be willing to hire me ,what ,what what, overcomes their thoughts, people who have performed their jobs for years with no problem, find themselves making errors out of sheer nervousness. transition, for some is an easy thing especially those new to the job,however for those who have been accustomed to doing it the Express Lane way, now fear runs dormant that their ability to adapt will be insufficient.I could go on,but to sum it up briefly, what happens is that the people, whose loyalty and belief in Express Lane, could very well find these things will now cost them their job, with the new company.
ITS JUST BUSINESS, i personally detest that statement,it is such a blanket for some, where it covers the harsh reality of truth. Express Lane, very seldom used that expression,at least with me, and in discussions with them about various things always seemed to found their idealism on a nobler plane, which i would describe as simply, giving a damn..Ok,now that was the potatoes,time for the meat.
Sorry,the wife and were arguing over our lack of Christmas,which is kinda pisssing me off with the grand kids here.I will say this though,i am mad at myself,not Express Lane for i should have done some better planning financially and that quite simply is my bad,besides i do have a little time left,hehe. Positive thinking!!!
Express Lane has always,and i mean always shown they care for those who work for them. Personally, i hope they get filthy rich off this deal, they have worked hard, been good to those that worked with them, and have to my knowledge always acted as regulars, even though well off financially.Now this all is dependent on how good a deal they made for themselves, because things are not always what they seem and they may not be as well off as we would think, however. If Express Lane did well, it would not be amiss for them to share in this with employees who have been with them for a period of time, a minimum of 5 years at any rate.Oh and by the way these are my thoughts alone, simply put. I will be the first to state i have no idea how much,what to be base anything on,etc. I have a few basic reasons for wishing this, one, it does teach others there is a reward for loyalty, two,we are all interdependent on one another, Express Lanes success is partially based its employees, not taking anything away from the owners,and lastly,to help quell the nervousness and fears of its former loyal employees. When i was out stripping the stores, one of the reasons i personally felt bad was seeing, and hearing some of the hopelessness in people, how they would try to be upbeat and then admit their fear of having to depend on a company to whom they were nothing more then a number or position. I can relate because in todays world, it dosent matter with a corporation how good your work is, it is now ,simply,knowledge of someone in corporate,cost,or what can you do for me. it appears as if corporations have becoming mechanical machines interested in only projecting better results for the upcoming quarter.Hell, i have seen shoddy work,which a corporation would rather pay for then to take the time out to find better work at a lesser price because it is just easier to do so.That is sad. So that is the meat to my conversation with Reed,now for the dessert,he does not pull any punches that one,and he had me good,hehehehe.
And you,he asked. Not fair,hehehe. Ok, truth,of course i wish that i would be included,hell I dream, fantasize, have always done my best for Express Lane. Recognition of this sort would rock my world, make it all seem like there are some who believe in rewarding those who have given their best.Honestly,though,oh i so hate having to be honest here,they,Express Lane have already given me a lot. One, i am a vendor,not an employee, however they have always and i mean always treated me as a person. Two, they have always paid me for my services. Three,they took me in and me feel as if my contribution was important. Four, even though not a blood relative they have always been kind enough to listen to my problems,shown a sincere care for me and damn it made me feel good,a member of the Express Lane family.So, yes , it would be nice, but actually i was more concerned about the people who have become dependent on the Express Lane we all know and love. When all this began occurring 3 or 4 months ago,i wont admit i was upset,unkowingly to Express Lane owners,I had been asked to just do the Express Lane stores,i thought about it, was tired of rejection by other companies and proceeded to just do their stores, i do have a couple of stores i do, i also lost a couple when they found out i was doing some Express Lanes at no charge.My big mouth,i will never learn. Oh well, if they had been as good to me as Express Lane maybe i would have done the same for them, at any rate,the reason i stopped doing the stores or additional stores at no cost was quite simply,no gas money. Sorry,had to take a break,me and the two little ones made up some brownies,full of walnuts and andes mints,eat your heart out,but what a mess,hehehe,brownie mix everywhere,hehehe.Ok,where was I,ok,caught my train of thought.My bills come to about 1800 a montyh doing 19 stores plus the Dodges,meant i was going in the hole .Now i have no credit cards,bank accounts,or loans, so i truly live week to week. iI know,it is all my bad ,ok,anyways trying to be quick so i can play with the little ones, I did get a couple of side jobs, borrowed some money and finally confronted Mark about the extra work ,he had promised me previously.He gave me a scrub to do,authorized the strips,and due to that i have almost caught up on all my bills.Some people, including exemployees state i made a mistake in handling the Express Lane account ,treating them as family.They dont know how Reed brought me my check because i could not make it to the office,how Jim Lewis invited me over to shoot pool, or play the guitar,how someone always listened to me, how concerned the office workers were when i came in freezing from no heat in my van after finishing work to drop off my invoices, so the answer to the question is , yes, but irregardless either way, i have already recieved more then most vendors ever will. A home away from home.Thatsssssssssssssss all folks brownies are done,cooling now and grandkids are making me smile,enjoy your day,love,me.
ohhhh, i can tell this is gonna be a long one, but i have already started and have been putting it off for awhile so might as well get it done.On Thursday,ihad talked to Holly who informed me Reed was upset about all the strips being done.Me, being me , thought that Reid felt i took advantage of the situation,as Mark told him he only authorized some strips.In order to clear my name i went to the office and waited a couple of hours for Reed to come out so i could explain it to him.He heard me out and then told me there was never any question about me, and that they,Express Lane never had any doubts about me.It made me feel a lot better, we said goodbye and i left to cash my final check.
I have always had a problem with speaking my mind, and at the same time not always being swift enough in thought to actually convey the thought properly.I say something then ten minutes later which i had said it better, or phrased it differently, or not said anything at all,hehehehe. Oh well, from these things life becomes what it is, we live with it, i guess.While Reed and i were our discussion at the end i brought up a subject that maybe i should not have ,it was all good till he made a simple question,"and you"..to which i really had no answer ,except to state that honestly ,even though i dream the dream, thought due to my being a vendor i would not be included.As i told him i am just a vendor and if there is one thing i have learned in the last couple of years that was my lesson.Oh,Oh here i go again, one thought leads to another,and, i want to start off on another tangent, but will wait to go into that, hopefully.New paragraph hehehe.
Myself,my dream was to build a company, similar to my old cleaning company,Suburban Contract Cleaning,here the owner built up a successful business, did well for himself and some of the employees bought it from him, when he was ready to get out.He had taken a small business, hired people,taught them how to become successful, and shared it with them in order for them to create their own legacy.Which has gone very well, i guess i failed in that aspect ,though i still have time to change it,but, i have definitely created opportunities for people others would not take a chance on and thus enrichened their lives, by giving them the chance to run with the ball.Very, very few disappointment's there, for which i thank them.Looking back,i realize that most people, when given encouragement, and shown trust will, do whats right, not all, but most. In the entire time ,i only had to fire 1 person,sometimes they deserved to be fired but if you think about the fact we are all human, make mistakes ourselves,be a little forgiving, most do not make the same mistake twice. Ok,back to the meat and potatoes, I sidetrack so well,hehehe.
In todays world,when a company sells out pr changes hands,there is often a big story if the owners sell back to the employees or reward them with a monetary bonus, usually the higher ups in a company have themselves covered with severance packages or such. However every once in awhile we hear stories of companies that also reward the everyday worker who has been with the company for an extended period of time, or contributed to the general welfare of the company.Here we go now,Express Lane has always been good to its employees,flat out, no b.s.,I remember commenting to Jim Lewis one time that if people did not screw up at work, they would always have a job. I meant this, because the Lewis family actually cares about the people that work for them and they work with the employees not ride over them,if you had a problem someone would listen, if they could help they would.This tradition was started by Mr. Jimmy Lewis and was carried on by his sons, who all had to work their way up, no gimmes here.One of the results of this of this well run operation,is you end up with employees who, quite frankly, dont which to go to work else where, and are content knowing they will finish out their days working for this same company.I know, in todays world it may seem unrealistic,with companies going this way, that way, and no safe havens anywhere,but it does happen, and used to a lot more. It is called COMPANY LOYALTY, the thing companies are always screaming for and forgot that you have to give to get.So on we go, the Lewis family has been in the convience business for awhile, they are all getting older,the economy is down, and then with the new tax rates coming into effect have decided to get out of the market and sell the company. I can not say as i blame them,at first no one could figure out what was going on, just that changes were being implemented that did not seem in character for the Lewis familys mode of operation in their stores. Employees,vendors, including myself, had no idea what was up and fears ran of the company going into bankruptcy to being sold, were running rampant, Some, no if or buts about it jumped ship, the rest stayed. through these turbulent times.I love people, and people in return trust me, some thinking i have a closer tie to the office then i do, confide in me hoping it will get to those above.Others talk to me due to the years we have worked together, at any rate I learn a lot.Employees feelings were varied over a number of things, ranging from concern over the Lewis family,to fear over what would happen to them now.Employees who had not been with the company for long,seemed to think it was just another thing,while the ones who had been with the company for a long period of time, or were older were on the edge or just plain out scared. Talking to an employee who had been with the company for years,who had tried to find employment elsewhere, he described the feeling of inadequacy he felt through all the rejections he had been submitted to.Which quite honestly made me think about my situation a lot, but more on that later.Fear, had infected the lifestream of Express Lane,where optimism used to be prevalent.Employees, who 2 months ago were simply trying to get more hours for Christmas,now worried that they would be out in the cold on Christmas day, jobless or working with less hours, where they were worried over having enough money to buy that extra gift,they were now in fear of being able to pay the electric bill to keep the heat on.One thing the Lewis family did that was thoughtful of them was to keep the paychecks on a weekly basis until after the holidays, another thing i heard employees being grateful for was the early Christmas party so they could get their bonuses. Life, the importance of that 100.00 bonus, the difference it makes in so many lives can scarcely be measured,but it is truly treasured, not only for the recognition it bestows,but in trying to catch up on a bill,helping out a family member, or buying that extra gift for the unexpected child or grandchild this year.When another company buys one out,especially a family run business, it is the ones who cared that worry, What will happen now, willl my loyalty to the previous owners be an asset or liability, who will be willing to hire me ,what ,what what, overcomes their thoughts, people who have performed their jobs for years with no problem, find themselves making errors out of sheer nervousness. transition, for some is an easy thing especially those new to the job,however for those who have been accustomed to doing it the Express Lane way, now fear runs dormant that their ability to adapt will be insufficient.I could go on,but to sum it up briefly, what happens is that the people, whose loyalty and belief in Express Lane, could very well find these things will now cost them their job, with the new company.
ITS JUST BUSINESS, i personally detest that statement,it is such a blanket for some, where it covers the harsh reality of truth. Express Lane, very seldom used that expression,at least with me, and in discussions with them about various things always seemed to found their idealism on a nobler plane, which i would describe as simply, giving a damn..Ok,now that was the potatoes,time for the meat.
Sorry,the wife and were arguing over our lack of Christmas,which is kinda pisssing me off with the grand kids here.I will say this though,i am mad at myself,not Express Lane for i should have done some better planning financially and that quite simply is my bad,besides i do have a little time left,hehe. Positive thinking!!!
Express Lane has always,and i mean always shown they care for those who work for them. Personally, i hope they get filthy rich off this deal, they have worked hard, been good to those that worked with them, and have to my knowledge always acted as regulars, even though well off financially.Now this all is dependent on how good a deal they made for themselves, because things are not always what they seem and they may not be as well off as we would think, however. If Express Lane did well, it would not be amiss for them to share in this with employees who have been with them for a period of time, a minimum of 5 years at any rate.Oh and by the way these are my thoughts alone, simply put. I will be the first to state i have no idea how much,what to be base anything on,etc. I have a few basic reasons for wishing this, one, it does teach others there is a reward for loyalty, two,we are all interdependent on one another, Express Lanes success is partially based its employees, not taking anything away from the owners,and lastly,to help quell the nervousness and fears of its former loyal employees. When i was out stripping the stores, one of the reasons i personally felt bad was seeing, and hearing some of the hopelessness in people, how they would try to be upbeat and then admit their fear of having to depend on a company to whom they were nothing more then a number or position. I can relate because in todays world, it dosent matter with a corporation how good your work is, it is now ,simply,knowledge of someone in corporate,cost,or what can you do for me. it appears as if corporations have becoming mechanical machines interested in only projecting better results for the upcoming quarter.Hell, i have seen shoddy work,which a corporation would rather pay for then to take the time out to find better work at a lesser price because it is just easier to do so.That is sad. So that is the meat to my conversation with Reed,now for the dessert,he does not pull any punches that one,and he had me good,hehehehe.
And you,he asked. Not fair,hehehe. Ok, truth,of course i wish that i would be included,hell I dream, fantasize, have always done my best for Express Lane. Recognition of this sort would rock my world, make it all seem like there are some who believe in rewarding those who have given their best.Honestly,though,oh i so hate having to be honest here,they,Express Lane have already given me a lot. One, i am a vendor,not an employee, however they have always and i mean always treated me as a person. Two, they have always paid me for my services. Three,they took me in and me feel as if my contribution was important. Four, even though not a blood relative they have always been kind enough to listen to my problems,shown a sincere care for me and damn it made me feel good,a member of the Express Lane family.So, yes , it would be nice, but actually i was more concerned about the people who have become dependent on the Express Lane we all know and love. When all this began occurring 3 or 4 months ago,i wont admit i was upset,unkowingly to Express Lane owners,I had been asked to just do the Express Lane stores,i thought about it, was tired of rejection by other companies and proceeded to just do their stores, i do have a couple of stores i do, i also lost a couple when they found out i was doing some Express Lanes at no charge.My big mouth,i will never learn. Oh well, if they had been as good to me as Express Lane maybe i would have done the same for them, at any rate,the reason i stopped doing the stores or additional stores at no cost was quite simply,no gas money. Sorry,had to take a break,me and the two little ones made up some brownies,full of walnuts and andes mints,eat your heart out,but what a mess,hehehe,brownie mix everywhere,hehehe.Ok,where was I,ok,caught my train of thought.My bills come to about 1800 a montyh doing 19 stores plus the Dodges,meant i was going in the hole .Now i have no credit cards,bank accounts,or loans, so i truly live week to week. iI know,it is all my bad ,ok,anyways trying to be quick so i can play with the little ones, I did get a couple of side jobs, borrowed some money and finally confronted Mark about the extra work ,he had promised me previously.He gave me a scrub to do,authorized the strips,and due to that i have almost caught up on all my bills.Some people, including exemployees state i made a mistake in handling the Express Lane account ,treating them as family.They dont know how Reed brought me my check because i could not make it to the office,how Jim Lewis invited me over to shoot pool, or play the guitar,how someone always listened to me, how concerned the office workers were when i came in freezing from no heat in my van after finishing work to drop off my invoices, so the answer to the question is , yes, but irregardless either way, i have already recieved more then most vendors ever will. A home away from home.Thatsssssssssssssss all folks brownies are done,cooling now and grandkids are making me smile,enjoy your day,love,me.
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