vampire

so i stayed home on new years.i went and got tickets for la vela as,spinnakers was fifty bucks,only to discover that they simply reduced rate to twenty dollars from thirty.in addition shirt needed to be ironed,no iron,kept falling asleep on couch and .whoa,stop, aren't those some good excuses,i keep thinking of reasons i did not go,but honestly i don't know if these are the reasons i didn't,or crazy as it may sound,fear of my hunger for companionship.like a vampire,hungry,but wanting to feed off the emotions of others,in my inability to display my own.i imagined a succubus,whose desire could not match my hunger,startled by its depth.i possess her,with the power of my emotion,her surrender,slow,unwilling,overcoming her physical quest.confused,bewildered,subjective to an emotional flow from which retreat is no option,surrender to a force more powerful for the lack of the physical,look at me,feel how the essence of you,feeds me.look,see the mystery in my eyes,the warmth of my emotions enfolding you,emotional domination,subduing your physical hunger.know that without you there is nothing but the hunger,feel my need for you,the completeness of a circle,i surrender to you,devour me.             whoa,so this is what happens when i let go on new years, don't tell anyone.i like it,it reveals thoughts i keep hidden but,should feel no shame in.the desire for affection,a basic need for most of us,though not all,drives me in many of the actions in my life.worldly knowledge i dont pretend to have,but knowledge of self,yes.the fact i am capable of change,yes.the force that drives these changes,ah now therein lies the mystery,what makes me what i am,i have only a basic and probably biased idea.i do believe that love is master of my life,for without,life is simply existence,with it existence is heavenly.