i told someone i respect a little bit about myself and my past,known each other for years,and the funny thing is i typed it out and then almost did not deliver it.fear of telling too much,or a judgement not in my favor,i honestly don't know.i do know i finally overcame my fear,which had been non existent in the typing of the letter,and decided to trust in my original belief.that this was a person i do trust and that my belief in him was the same,it was my insecurity of self,that almost stopped me.being an emotional person i do things on impulse,and you would be amazed how often it works,as long as i am using a little common sense,hahaha.most of my mistakes come from second guessing my own decisions or defeating myself. one of the things about taking quick action on an idea is that there is less time to contemplate failure in my mind before i take action.we are our worst enemy,at least i am occasionally.i love to dance,there is something about it that makes me feel a part of,its a way i communicate with the world and while i am no michael jackson,i am not too bad.i can go to a club and listen to the music getting all wrapped up in it and i have no problem dancing to the side of the dance floor.you know like next to rails or bee bopping next to the bar.now women intimidate me ,really,so i usually dance by myself.the hard part comes if people are or were watching me is getting onto the dance floor proper.i think too many negative thoughts and defeat myself,its crazy but i have stood at the edge of that dance floor freaking myself out so many times,that i end up worse then when i went in.its that second guessing,as if i do work up the courage,people actually only seem to enjoy what i do,especially if i am getting lost in the music.its humorous that i who try so hard to be who am i with no impositions,allow the voices of others stating i am too old or that i dance like an old timer,prevent me from doing what i love best.the fraility of my ego,lordy,lordy.i am proud of my freedom when i do finally cut loose,and you know its amazing i can not recall one bad situation ever arising,except for the demons in my own mind.of course once i start dancing they are gone,people actually smile,and life is GREAT.i don't know if i will actually go out tomorrow night,i do know it will all depend on my state of mind.the thoughts i have that ,define my actions,they are never simple,unless i am acting on impulse.if i am working on something in my mind,in five minutes i will have numerous questions and answers that tend to overwhelm even the simplest of problems,if someone asks for an answer,i usually can snap one out no problem,with a fair degree of  being correct in answer.its that branching off of the root ,with all its little splinters,running helter skelter in all directions where i tend to get mired.so usually the best answer is the first one,in its clarity,before the distortion of my mind sets in.i will state that some of the best things in my life came from that decision the one where i did not think it through,where i just went with the flow,thoughts and emotions concurring this is right.its like being in tune with your environment,at one with the question,the answer coming from within,without thought as if you knew it rightness,from a space within,either your heart or your mind.my memory as i have stated before, isn't all that good ,so maybe the answer came from dealing with a similar situation,i had forgotten.if that's true i really envy those who have good memory recall,as that must be really neat,to recollect a situation and draw on that experience,for me ,unfortunately i generally have to play it by ear.it is fun though,and honestly speaking,when i come up with my,uhummm,innovative solution,i do grow in self esteem and confidence.so i guess it has its pros and cons,at any rate.so i guess that's it for now,will have to see what happens tomorrow night and until then,have a goooooooooood day,yeah there's some love for you,did you think i would let you go through your day without some,later,marino.