the only explanation i will give

i make no excuses,will not subjugate,for here i fly with wings unteathered,open to catch the winds of my thoughts,adrift on gentle,whimsical,and frivolous breezes. caught and thrown,up,down,in a storm of tumultuous,awe,inspiring and exciting,dangerous,truthful thought.i,that simple definitive of me,in my selfishness,so do i transcribe these thoughts.sharing myself,no boundaries,with the exception of mine own fears.an awakening,an acknowledgement,that YES,it is ok to be me.every line i compose,my thoughts i expose,a revealing of who i am,do you not think i don't fear your judgement,disagreements.i sweat in perspiration as i write,fear of,i don't know,i will not let it hinder me,here i prove to me a love of self,an admittance of my humanity and imperfections,i confess my fears,my strength and belief in myself here i will grow.invincible,no,i would not even wish that,for to feel no pain,is to deny my own self,the ability to overcome,that search which makes me even more human.love me,like me,the acceptance of who i am,this is the road less traveled,even by me.perceptions,thoughts,truly i search for my core,fear of self,what will i discover,do i truly have the strength to be me.will i cover those things i discover,i don't like,or have the strength to face them,change them,into the person i want to be.scared,yes,for who knows what i shall uncover,doubt as to the strength of myself to overcome,i ask for nothing,for this is my battle,and the ammunition,my love for self,i trust will give me,my weapons in this civil war.i laugh with joy in the knowledge of me,my beauty and my ugly,for i know,in my heart,that my desire is only to enrichen,not only my world but all,with that magical mystery,we define as love.i confess to having the fiery,dark thoughts of evil,yes even their contemplation of thought,my strength is the white,incandescent,yet rainbow of colors,in all its glory,love.for you,for all,and yes for me.my morality guided by it,not always sure,sometimes doubting,in wanting to be selfish,for love of self,know world of mine,i love you,and my desire is to share my love with you.to deny myself and mine own love for me,would weaken my ability to give to you,so take it not as a denial of you,but here,here,i will fly,here i exist in my own peril,for with none to hold me,i will soar into a beauty of my own making or plummet out of fear,allowing none to inhibit my search for myself,its truths,and revelations,i will wipe mine own tears,watching them water the fertile ground,planting seeds of fruition,and hoping for the reaping of an even better human then when i began.here i take responsibility for self,and here i say,may my love,be your sun,as it shines over my garden.