why?

ah,life the different events that compose it,forming the base for the rest.was not having that great a day the other day,and its wonderful how a little thing can turn your whole day around.i had left my wife a note on facebook,sentimental me,and happened,well noticed,she had replied to someone elses statement without saying anything to me.i guess i am the sensitive sort,hehehe,so all day i am slowly running negative thoughts in my head.i talk to her later and poor baby is so tired,i feel terrible for her.does this mean i am bi polar?hahaha.at any rate when i talked to her later,she made me feel really good,she was all up in spirits,and had just had a rough day.the bad thing is i know i think too much sometimes or have a tendency to put pieces together where there is no puzzle.a couple of days previous someone blocked me from their page,what you gonna do,then the wife stated she wished she could delete me from her facebook,out of exasperation with me.after she did not respond to my message of love to her,i got upset.of course i kept all this to myself,so all day i am thinking negative thoughts,i wanted to close my facebook,have nothing to do with lots of people that are in my life,but not a part of my life,its like i just had reached a point where i am fed up with people period.here i have all these family members and a couple of friends but no interaction,its all by computer,if any.unless there is a need.i am not blaming anyone its like that in a lot of peoples lives i think.i have more interaction with people at stores i shop at then within my own family,and that's sad to me.the people at the convenient store down the street probably have a better idea of my life then the people in my life.there is  failure to communicate,if its not on facebook its not important,so when my wife talked to me the other day she changed my whole day around.i did not stop thinking and it was not like all was peaches,but just the interaction,that talking to someone who cared,made the rest of my day so much better.we had one of the boys move out a week or so ago,scotty might be leaving soon,and then the house will be empty with the exception of myself.after the way i was feeling the other day,i have a lot of thoughts running through my head,how am i going to fill this time of emptiness,i love conversation and interaction,i also realize no one is as responsible for my happiness as much as i am,duhhhhhh.hopefully business will get better and i will have more time at work,i also am sure i will have time to get some things done around the house,that still leaves lots of time,and that quite honestly intimidates me.one reason i am realistic enough to know that loneliness can bring out the worst in me.the belief that i am not that important in other lives,my inability to discuss my feelings and that age old feeling that i have to act like a man and not complain,that is the shit that causes problems and the knowledge that i bind myself to these things makes it even worse.being intelligent,having some common sense,you would think i was capable of fixing this myself,alas it is not so.i ponder everything and keep running into walls,while at the same time,stupidly i admit i refuse to reach out to anyone.its like i think about it,even to the point of getting into van to visit,but i also get mad or rather upset,feeling that it isn't fair,if needed,people can get a hold of me,why cant they just show an interest in me.i turn around and lo,and behold,i am back where i started.i know this world is not going to change for me,and that's ok.i will figure something out,somewhere there is an answer,its just i am sad that even though solutions are here,it is not my style to inflict myself on others,i know that i am a person of note and enjoyable to be in the company of.not necessarily always easy to deal with,but with lots of good qualities.and some bad too,hehehe.i have all my life heard people saying,if only i had known or what could have caused another to do something,my point exactly.no communication,no one talks,or in the struggle of living life,others forget that you are there,so to me that is the reason for a lot of things especially the misery in their life.so to my wife i say thanks cause you made my day,and to the others,i refuse to let you use those excuses be cause the truth is if you had gone out of your way a little,shown another they were a part of your life,you would not  have to be asking the question anyway.