combat arms

  Such an important part of my world but seldom mentioned is computer gaming.I have been playing computer games for ever........... I dont even remember the name of my first game,but who can forget the original first person shooter Wolfenstein,the one that started it all. Doom, Quake, Call of Duty, the list is endless, for a person of my tender years,hehehe, it has been a revolution, and of course they are now talking about the death of the p.c..Wahhhhhh, so many hours, such a large part of my life, and some money,hahaha, trying to keep my system up to par. The experience of gaming,the worlds it has opened, along with the technology it has introduced, if this is what the future holds for those of younger years i envy you, your journey.
  I fell in love with first person shooters, and spent numerous hours playing, developing my skill to be able to brag of my prowess,hehehe. Then, on CNET, in their d/l section, i found a game called Combat Arms. Little did i know this game was to change my world. It was an online game and free to play, now C.O.D. was already on the internet but for myself i was happy with the single player version,not wanting to bother with the pain of starting to play online. I was hooked on Combat Arms, after my first game, the graphics were good , you could talk to people by typing and the community, was simply awesome.
  It turned out i was reasonably good at playing and was invited to join different clans. A clan is a group of people who enjoy playing together, and at its truest form,is a family. I joined the original Xconz clan, members were people i could discuss my life, any problems, and be honest with. They instilled a feeling of acceptance, and love, based on nothing about me other then who i am.. They accepted me into their lives,helped me out, shared things and were true brothers in arms. You see it is only a game, but when you spend hours of time with people, even those things we hide from one another come out.
  The disbanding of our clan was one of the most difficult things i have ever dealt with., To see your family disintegrate, move in with other families, for me was one of the most difficult things i have ever gone through. It took me a long time to overcome it, even though i joined other clans,they simply did not fill the void i experienced upon our dissolution.
  The game,like most things has evolved in the 5 years i have been playing, some good and some i dont agree with. People, the players, i have now known, some for as long as i have been playing, are why i keep coming back. With the addition of voice while playing , you have interesting conversations, develop friendships,oh and lets not forget the DRAMA,hahhaha. Sometimes I am amazed by the way people are. When I first started playing i was pretty good, today i suck,hehehe. I play, quit for awhile,sometimes frustrated by the horrible player i have become, and I return. On my return I am always amazed by the number of people who are so happy to see me back,actually i feel guilty that i have been absent for so long. You see when I have times of difficulty i hide from the world including my gaming world, then i am surprised by the love that is showered on me.
    There have been times, since i first started playing, when these are the only people I can unload to. They know me not,with the exception of what i tell them, trust me and judge me not. For me , I used to think my skill was the magnet, that left, and they are still there, what else can you ask for.If the world was as accepting of people,maybe it would be a better place.I could go on and on,the fact that i still play,as bad as i have become, is in itself a testament to the beauty of the world of gaming,its people and the social affects on us in todays modern world, to all i give my love and to gamers a little more,thank you for allowing me to be me,and telling me it is ok to be me,love marino