this is gonna be a quicky just so i dont get too far behind again,hehehe.In addition i am tired, however lets move on.Why do i do this to myself,hahaha, pissed off i was yesterday,just for a few moments.Went to see a customer who loved the way i did his inital strip,loved it so much he said that the floor looked too good to do now,even though he agreed to a monthly service.That kills me ,you go in, do the job to the best of your abilities,wow the customer, and then lo and behold,instead of keeping you going, they try to save money ,because you do a good job,and hold off on regular floor maintenance.i have had this happen a few times,even with large institutional customers. Then they wonder why companies, self excluded, give just the minimum.Personally i am beginning to believe its so they can keep coming back, as long as they do a job thats less then, the floor goes down quicker ,requiring them to service the job again.they make more money, the customer,wonders why quality is not there,etc.,etc.,just a vicious circle.
Then one of my former customers calls me to do a job for him,and in trying to work with him,he has helped me before, i ask what his budget is, to keep within it, and he tells me to just submit a bid.I do and it seems kinda high too me but everyone else thinks its quite fair,so we shall see what will be. I think there is a conspiracy afloat to turn me from a floor man into a business man, hehehe. I even tried to do a spreadsheet for the wife today, ughhhh what a nightmare, did it on a regular sheet afterwards, which i was proud of.
Scotty,gotta love the guy ,he is driving me to my wits end though.We only ask him to contribute 40 bucks a week and for one reason or another he cant even do that. i can sympathise when he only works one day out of the week due to the season,but what the hell will happen if he has to get his own place. His mother ,doesn't want to put too much pressure on him but i am truly worried about it.It dose not make me feel too good that he dose not think it is too important either.He states he knows how good he has it,that is not acting as if he appreciates it though.
Back to me,i wonder if i am not the one with the problem, trying to act as if peoples actions don't bother me when they do, simply because i have become accustomed to being treated as less then and allow it.No bs ,i have thought of just saying the hell with it and if i was on the outside looking in, i am sure i would ask why the hell i allow it. Crazy, the things we know,yet the way we allow things to escalate, like a snowball that becomes an avalanche,i have lost control and am afraid to stop it, the only way i can imagine, which is by jumping off the precipice of the cliff. I wake , i swear things are gonna be different, and instead same ole, same ole, i feel like its all over, an end, where i used to be,dwindling under the shadow of a being i hardly recognize, scared by this shadow as children fear the shadows of their childhood nightmares.
Alright,enough of the bleeding heart, i swear the blood is beginning to turn pink though i am becoming such a bitch,hehehe. Cleaned up around my new fence area, for the trash and tools,isn't it amazing how you can build a thing of beauty,then afterwards realize what a mess you left in the wake of its creation,hahaha.The egg light for the pond went on the blitz,with all the rain lately the pond is murky brown,silty as if someone had thrown dirt in.Waiting on the bio filter to kick in is truly a test of patience and my desire to shop,as i would love to buy a uv light for it . I did put together a couple of the old pond lights, one red and the other blue,sealed them with vaseline instead of silicone, cheaper,and am now testing them in the pond. I try to do something, even if its only a little, on a positive note to keep myself afloat. tomorrow beckons me with its promise of a new beginning,and yes a little fear,that nothing will change, beginning with me.Hark,hear it, there is always that possibility,that beautiful note, of my rebirth into a person i will like,actually respect anew. Singing bravely into my tomorrow, i bid you goodnight,lots of love, and a peace with yourself.love ya ,me.
Oh,hell for myself,i have been checking out some of the stocks i had intended to buy and they have all done fairly well, the penny stocks have really done well,though they have come down now but i would have sold them already and reaped a few benefits,but maybe now is a good time to buy a few dollars worth for the future.Maybe i will in 10 or 20 years be able to retire,hehehe.If not it will be fun to see what happens,see ending on a positive note again,well , truly thats it,later all.
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