hi

well,lets see,took ,own the christmas tree today,its standing up in the driveway,looks taller then the gutter,makes you wonder how i got it in,haha.not too much on my mind today,grateful i made it through the week actually,was not too bad,just trying to get it all together,but i am sure a lot of people are doing the same.an interesting fact that i have come to notice about myself is i am not watching too much t.v.,that may sound strange but,i read a lot more lately.bought a new hardcover by laurel hamilton,part of her vampire series,inexspensive at wal mart.keep wanting to buy the dragon tattoo but keep passing it up,must be waiting for something special or whatever.usually  i cant wait to get my hands on a new book,but kinda taking my time with this one.new years is almost here,wondering what i am gonna do,i want to go out in a halfhearted fashion,afraid i will miss out on something.what i have no idea,but don't want to stay home alone.of course,watching every one else may be slightly depressing so i guess we will see.sometimes,as much as i like being a homebody,i feel as if life is passing me by,or that i am just a passenger.i am definitely going to work on generating some more business,after the holidays.with all that has occurred in my life this year,i guess i woke up and smelled the coffee.now i just have to put action to my thoughts.everything else is kinda falling into a rythmn,so i think its time to bust a move and shake the world up with my presence.hahaha,but,i am not kidding,check me out this time next year,i assure you things will be different.i am kinda excited to see what develops in my life,in the next few months,i find myself anticipating not what can or could be,but the mystery of what will be.i hunger for something,the mystery of what will feed my hunger is presently an unknown but i have no fear of something unknown.i think sometimes we fear whats in us more then the unexpected.our self doubts,the thought that another may percieve our weaknesses,and misgivings,the face we present to the world melting by anothers gaze,revealing ourself with all our frailities.think of how much courage it takes us to face the world everyday,knowing we may stumble or fall in front of another,risking a possibility of just being human,and we do it.everyday we face a world where we can be hurt or humiliated,demonstrating the strength of just being ourselves,in the simple act of living.going out on a limb,reaching for the dream,overcoming our shadows,refusing to just be ,wanting more and willing to face rejection in our pursuits,this is where we become more than,where we outshine the stars.creation of our lives,pursuit of dreams,in this adventure of life ,here we shine,becoming the beacons for others to follow,or share,in the light,of our pursuit of happiness. irregardless of what we desire,love,money,the idea of happiness,that which is important to ourself,in its pursuit,we distinguish ourselves in not settling for less.though sometimes i will admit knowing when we have achieved enough,that ability,to say i am content,is possibly the most difficult decision.its as if even though we are content,we cant deny the possibilty that maybe a little more,a different view,will finally fill that hunger,the one that suddenly erupts when all is good.i dont know,i am only human,will i ever conquer this hunger,maybe i should go on a diet,hahaha,well thats all for now,may you have a nice new years and may there be joy in your heart.