whats wrong with a dance or two

      Whats wrong with a dance or two, for me they can be life changing, this is actually the title for one of Natalie Stovalls new songs. When I first heard her announce the title, I flipped, it was like a testimony to my life, The funny thing is after she announced the title,my head was spinning so fast, I did not pick up on the lyrics,so now I am really curious to see her vision. I did listen to her sing it, but my mind was going in so many directions , I guess i was lost in limbo.I went to her website to see if the lyrics were posted there, no luck, in a sense it is going to be interesting to see how our interpretations of the same thought will bear out. At least to me, after i got done posting my last blog, concerning Natalie and the weekend, I realized later it was one of the few times i had not mentioned work,in any form or fashion, that just goes to show the wonder of that time. I have not been able to keep myself on a level keel since, and you know it is really not a bad thing, to know I can be affected like that. Lost I have been ,aint no lie,hehehe,and of course my mind combined with the emotional rapture, I am surprised to find myself here, seemingly calm,normal and an outward appearance that shows no hint of the tumultuous confusion erupting within.
      I want to say, but I cant out of fear that not only would others laugh, including...,and then I am also afraid of looking like a fool to myself,check, keep it in check, when you know,the burn, fire, smolder of emotion, constrained by sensibility. All in a conspiracy to make me a liar,deciever, of the truth i wish to scream in joy, afraid of looking ,feeling the fool. What, no admission, no possibility of being wrong,while it sings hidden this secret song, colored in the greens of spring, reborn, flickering,colors passionate, resting on a cloud ,soft, white, and as pure in its innocence as a childs unrestrained laughter, this that makes life so worth living to me out weighs all other things. Money,physical things,appearance, all take a second seat here, for this is what makes life worthwhile, dreams are what keep people going ,mine are just of the sort that exist within.
    Somethings different tonight, I don't know what it is, I read this,someone wrote,hehehe. It shook me to see it and then I said, STOP, who else can dream my dreams,feel my truth in which i am lost,and next it was about how i read to much into things,the fact that to others i am probably strange, all the reasons for not, I know, but still I cant stop the dream. I am just a fool, I know,improbable, illogical, over emotional and what can I do? In the same way a musician plays music,a singer sings the song,or a bard tells the tale, I sit here weaving this, its subilties lost to the norm,while its message lies open to those who know, and with their knowledge,it is ok,for such knowledge can only come thru the pain of having been there.
   A dance or two. So simple, isnt it, so casual,just a dance. Every woman i have been emotionally involved with, it has always been through dancing first.This is why I dont get on the dance floor, why I shield myself ,for with me, here is where it has always began.Surprising me when something I love to do gives me the greatest gift there is. The humor here, it is not at my approach, for I truly am shy, it just happens, and the wonder is in its directness, there is seldom a question , it just is and becomes... what it is. When a force penetrates our defenses,its swiftness is a part of its deadliness,a dance without a dance,a weaving,with out a physical closeness, a feeling, two communicating without words, it is so hard to describe, with words,the joining, birth ,union of soul and it is not just that it is a touching without touching, making love without the barrier of our physical self,a spiritual joining felt from inside to out, the communication spoken without words, the giving ,pure and without restraint, its acceptance, without question. Magic, here unconditional. I feel so inadequate in the phrasing,so uplifted by the memory. Play, dance with me, lift me let the music and the dance speak. While we dance, free at last, the emotion carries away fear, releasing me to be me with out fear. Where I would be intimidated, the music has unleashed me.You play me, my strength  weakened by your communication with that that was kept shielded. A dance,such a simple thing, it has made something so seemingly normal, different tonight. In my innocence I felt safe, alone by choice, occasionally grazed by others , the melody you weaved from afar, becoming a part of me.
    Soulmate, here is where it explains it self,in words with which I have run out of,that ability for two to communicate without the physical speaking of language, where a look ,the brush of a hand ,a smile, sometimes the sharing of a thought unspoken, a deja vu, feeling of no matter what it will be all right,the loss of my fears, the only fear being, do you feel,or is this just a fantasy i my own mind. Its ok, I say, for the feeling is worth its price, and see me now dancing alone,but it is different tonight,do you feel the love, marino.