it seems to take forever for me to figure out where to start a new post,hehehehe.always having to jump from here to there,lost in my own blog,gotta be hilarious,hahaha
well,its been an interesting couple of weeks,,first express lane told me that they were going to start servicing the stores only once every 4 weeks,i also finished up videos for kroger,and i ran out of money,hehehehe.that was scary though,did not think i would come up with the mortgage,but did make it thanks to some extra work i got,praise my higher power,or fate .at any rate came up with it today,and will pay tomorrow,yeahhhhh.i now make a grand total of 450.00 a week and 200.00 of that will go to mortgage,so things are gonna be tight,but am going to work on making things better for real.last week i was asked to submit a proposal for dental office and they said all looked good,and another convienence store also asked for a bid so we shall see.i do know i can not sit around and do nothing so i will have to start applying myself a little birt more efficiently.
i really could not believe express lane took this route but i guess it was a wake up call for me.i wrote a letter explaining how i felt about the situation and am suppossed to meet with jim lewis,but have a strange feeling that all is not as it appears,a while back i overheard mark,operations manager,stating that i would eventually be working for express lane,i love the company but am not a company man and wonder if this is a shift to get me there.well,i am not sure but i am sure i love doing floors,sick arent iat any rate i guess more will unfold at meeting with jim.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME ,HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME,ahhhh,just practising,b-day is on 28th,this thureday.i love my birthday,its special to me,if no one else,as i have had a rewarding life,not easy,but definately not boring.looking back,i probably did spend my life in the way i wanted,at the time anyway,and though money is a priority now,i am glad it was not before.sure i wish icould retire and all that but i am also glad i used my more energized years in the manner i did.i had nothing and built a good bussineess,helping some people on the way,and dont recollect hurting anyone while doing so.employees or companies i did work for,a rather enrichening experience i say,hehehe..my family,ahhh,what a story,i accomplished most of my goals,and love showed me itys many sides.i have reestablished a some what tenacious rapport with my bloodline and you know all is good.sadness,what is life with out some to teach us the joy of lifes beauty when it is absent.god i miss you,i think of you every day,teasing myself,you would think i could get you out of my heart by the absence of your being,it dosent work.i wonder if i cross your mind at all,realistically i tell myself no,and then the dream of maybe,just possibly comes along and hopes flame erupts,icry inside and try to reach for the real world where i know its just a dream.an incurable romantic,thats me,the dreamer of dreams,the dream catcher,covered in dust.what do i want for my birthday?truth,as long as it contains just one kiss,one moment,one time where dreams become reality,where i could say i once.
lordy,lordy,sometimes i think i should have been a writer of romance novels,or may the force be with me,should i bite on your neck and drink the essence of you into myself,bonding us together in ways unfore seen.from one extreme to another,i just cant leave it alone,where does it end,here the future alone knows,
ok,here is a band playing at la velas on thursday and i cant remember the name but i like them,duuuuh.so i will probably go to spinnakers first and then listen to the group at lavelas,dancing as much as possible,my birthday present to myself. i miss, never had you, my only true regret in life,the flower of my life, the cross of never knowing and unanswered question.i guess i will never know or maybe more honestly,in fear dont want to know the answer to my question,
i am getting better at this,notice the paragraphs,well its some kinda improvement anyway,and on and on i go,too much on my mind and emotion errupting in my heart so i guesss i will go now,but thanks,for though you are not here you are always with me,love,m.
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