the turning point,maybe.

         It is Sunday, about 7:30 and i have finally managed to sit my ass down and get this done,hehehe.As usual too much time has passed and have to play catch up.Lets begin with last night, which wa pretty good, I went dancing at Spinnakers, and took a friend of the wifes daughter, Ashley. Not yet 21 but a mother of 3 children, evidently she needed a break.It was he first time i had had anyone accompany me to the club, so it did feel a little diffferent.Especially going in the door, hehehe, it actually was not too bad, not too hard on the eyes, but a tthe same time I told her to just go off by herself and we would do our own thing.I actually thought she would take right off after we got in but you know how it is in a new club, so she stayed beside me for most of the night, which was alright. About 2 am she finally started to feel more comfortable, and wouldn't you know, I was ready to go, as I had told some friends I would be back in game. I hung around for awhile, so she could get a ride back and then went home. I had a really good time dancing with her, got a chuckle out of people asking if she was my kid, and it was fun talking about the guys who would try to nonchalantly hit on her, with her,hehehe. I had a good enough time, and the band is good so I will be going back tonight,
     Work has been going better,I did a job for the Foot clinic on Monday, did the store on Cherry street the same night. I also got a confirmation from Healthsouth about working there , but am still a little off with the hours, it being from 3pm-12pm, which is going to affect my work. I have to keep thinking about the positives, regular money,etc. .I also picked up a job at Emerald Coast Bingo, doing their floor in the deli area, and Little Caesars Pizza called me to confirm we are doing the floors, starting next week. origins floors will get done this week so at least all my work will be caught up before I start, and it can all be scheduled in the future around my work.
    Combat Arms has gone a little more smoothly, now that I have a new mouse,thanks to a friend of mine, who bought a new computer and uses a wireless, so he gave me the mouse that went to the new computer. I have been playing a lot of Arms Race, due to the extra xp and gp you get. Kinda foolish if you ask me, soon everyone will be a G.O.A. and then what will they do, too many generals and not enough soldiers,hehehe. I have a hard time believing I am caught up in it myself, hopefully it will just be a stage I am going thru. Devil Dog, a guy who I play the game with a lot leveled up the other day, which was sweet. The social aspect of gaming and what it has become never ceases to amaze me. An invitation to someones ranking party is of special significance, and is truly an honor.
    West Coast Killers, I really don't understand what happened there, first they ask me to join, actually have been asking a long time , I finally felt comfortable enough to join , and they fall through. Personally, I am sadly disappointed in them, and have lost some respect for them in what I can only label as sloppy work in recruitment. Last week, Coolbreeze, even asked me if I was still interested, with no follow through after I said yes. Presently I must confess, I do not know if I would still be interested. It would not have been so bad if Greatfuldead, had not emphasized, his feelings on trust, or had not known of the importance a clan means to me.
    On to a different subject,the damn sink is backing up, lo, which means old school dish washing by hand, I did manage to , hopefully, get a snake lined up for tomorrow, and with a little luck ,will have it fixed tomorrow.
     The week before, I did some work for the county, at the library,which I got paid for on this Friday, which made it possible, for Donna to go to her bingo special play. Tomorrow, I meet with Steve to line up some more work for next week.
      Personal, lets get personal, there are times when i wonder why, what am I really about. I feel as though my wife is my friend, and thats as far as she wants it to go. For what ever reason, I have difficulty with feeling alone, know things are not to my satisfaction and yet I just continue on. It may have been a mistake to take that girl to Spinakers last night, nothing occured but she actually enjoyed my company, we had an enjoyable time and she made me feel good about myself. All that without any thing but talk, Woman do approach mr occasionally, including last night, but I always worry about things getting out of hand. So, I usually just walk away, how ever the question remains at what cost, how much , and to what extant will my own happiness be forsaken. I do use my time out to make myself happy but I often wonder if I am shortchanging myself. I am also honest enough to admit that it would be a major upheaval, in my life and maybe I am simply too much of a coward to walk the path best for me. I can not deny that the effect this would have on my wife, does play an important part, but where do we draw the line? I feel as if I keep waiting in vain for her to change back, or something, to recapture the magic of yesteryear, with the reality being it is not going to happen. To dream when there is no dream,wish for what you know will not be, when do i face reality,deal with the facts that are in front of me. I guess if I knew the answer, I would not be writing this now. Well thats enough for now, it is time to get dressed, and trip the light fantastic, for a couple of hours anyway. Until next time love you, marino